some tots of shitty life

shitty life~~!
i think im kind of depressed these few days
dunno why..
perhaps, PMS ba...
or am i less optimistic
seems like everything is not going smoothly
or maybe lack of that little luck
or am i too hesitant
yes, im too afraid to make decisions
.
.
.
life is so difficult
no matter how hard i work,
no appreciation is being returned
no matter how thrifty i am
money is always not enough
.
.
.
thinking of buy something for myself
to cheer up myself up a little
but... but.... but
come to think of that pathetic few dollars in my account
i have to think twice
and
this make me feeling even worst
more depressing... ...
life is really not easy
.
.
.
although, today is the public holiday
as it is our national day- Sinagpore's 43 birthday
i shld be feeling happy enjoying the holiday
but i am not.. ...
the happy atmosphere is missing
on such occasion
yet im all alone... ...
and i hate it
i hope loneliness will go away soon
i want loneliness no more
.
.
.
hence, i need to change my thinkings
and my perception towards life and pple
in order to build up the happiness that belongs to myself